Tinder Aims to Capitalize on My Desperation

Online dating is unpleasant. This is news to no one. It feels superficial, noncommittal, and filled to the brim with flaky, insincere characters. But alas, even before the world locked up and we were all forced indoors to keep ourselves and each other safe, it was often the only realistic way for many of us to connect with potential dates. The IRL meet cute seems like a dating urban legend at this point, a story we tell each other over margaritas to distract from our loneliness with the fantasy that as soon as we stop thinking about it so much we’ll definitely bump into our perfect match while we stock up on cotton balls and Flamin’ Hot Cheetos at Duane Reade.

Until then, we swipe. Personally, I don’t employ a lot of strategy when I swipe — sometimes I’m slow and deliberate and take time to read bios; sometimes I move so fast it feels like some animal part of my brain has taken over and I’m not even really aware of which direction I’m swiping — but on occasion I do like to take advantage of the app’s paid upgrade. I usually do this when I want to grab hold of the reins a bit and when I’m feeling really on my game — really open to dating, really open to actually meeting people, really open to someone please god anyone kissing me at some point in 2020. Bumble has Bumble Boost, Hinge has Preferred, and Tinder has Tinder Gold.

My roommate and I were lounging on the couch recently, complaining about men on dating apps (I feel obligated to note here that sometimes we talk about other things) and it somehow came up that she rarely upgrades on Bumble because it costs much more than Tinder.

“Oh, I’m the opposite,” I said. “I know it’s actually more money in the long run, but $12.99 for a week of Bumble just feels like an easier pill to swallow than $29.99 for a month of Tinder.”

“But Tinder’s only $14.99 for the month!” she replied. “It’s so much cheaper!”

Phones out, subscription options held up side by side, we discovered that as a 33 year old woman, I am being charged double what my 26 year old roommate pays. DOUBLE. 

I’ve apparently been living under a blissfully ignorant rock, because a quick Google search confirmed that many users have been aware of this for years, and that Tinder, despite having settled a massive lawsuit in California and agreeing to stop differentiating pricing by age in that state only, stands by the practice on the whole. A Tinder spokesperson has stated, “We’ve found that these price points were adopted very well by certain age demographics. During our testing we’ve learned, not surprisingly, that younger users…are more budget constrained and need a lower price to pull the trigger.” Translation: older users have the money and are willing to spend the money, so we’re going to charge the money.

And okay, maybe now that I’m in my thirties I should have plenty of excess disposable income to throw at remedying my nonexistent love life, but we’re in the middle of a PANDEMIC here, folks, and I’m UNEMPLOYED, okay? I’ve never had more time to date in my life yet felt less desirable or safe doing so.

I already feel like I’m at a disadvantage dating in my thirties. There was a noticeable decrease in matches after my 30th birthday, so much so that I wish I was a more analytical and data-driven person with the stats to back it up, but you’ll just have to trust me here. I’m getting the sneaking suspicion that I’m now outside of a lot of guys’ set age ranges, either because they’re just conditioned to think younger equals prettier or more fun, or because they assume (rightfully, at least in my case) women in their thirties are interested in a little more commitment and a little less “not looking for anything serious right now.”

So why must I also be at a financial disadvantage?! We’re all on the same miserable (mindset shift, Megan…okay “winding”) journey together, so why are we not paying the same price for the same service? 

And if that’s not going to happen, then I’d like to make a formal request of Tinder: any chance you could hook this 33 year old up with a senior citizen discount?